Hey guys! It's been awhile since I have updated ya'll, like since February! It's was a busy spring with my nephew graduating, the girls finishing up their Freshman and Junior years in College and figuring out everyone's summer plans. And oh ya, all of the health issues that I have been going through and wanting to provide ya'll with Mother's Day and Graduation gifts!
As most of you know I have had some crazy health issues in the past and they have been one of the reasons we scaled back business starting back in January.
Literally, getting the diagnosis of gastroparesis put this foodie into a tailspin but honestly I have learned to adapt well in the last few months. At first I was sad that salads, steaks and most fresh fruits and veggies would no longer be apart of my diet and the thought of replacing them with protein shakes, baby food and carbs just blew me away but I managed and took it with the Grace God gave me. I've been on a medication since December that has really helped with the nausea and pain and with the modified diet, my symptoms have been controlled and flairs have been few and far between. If I do pay for a "no-no" food, it is only a few days of symptoms versus a week or two so I am so thankful for that. Gastroparesis(means paralyzed stomach) not only affects what you eat but also the absorption of your nutrients from those foods, so that means a ton of daily nutritional and vitamin supplements and new symptoms that might come with a certain vitamin deficiencies so my Dr.'s keep a close eye on my labs to make sure we keep them in check.
Since about October I have also been fighting stuff like a rapid heart rate, joint pain, respiratory infections and colds and just feeling tired all the time, like tired all the time. Long story short, I now see a electrophysiologist cardiologist, endocrinologist and my old immunologist to try and get my system figured out. I will be traveling to Kansas City to see another specialist(hematologist/oncologist) that specializes in Mast Cell disorders, lymphocytosis and t-cell deficiencies, among other things in July. The Mast Cell activation syndrome could be the reason for my stomach and heart issues and we also want to rule out some certain scary words which shall not be named at this point. Either way, I'm probably looking at a few invasive diagnostic tests in the near future so pray hard before and on July 13th when we see Dr. Gaur the oncologist/hematologist.
I see so many of you out and about or get messages on social media asking how I am doing and I usually answer, "I'm fine". I do that because the real answer is just complicated and depressing and I don't want to be that girl, that Debbie Downer, the person that talks about her health all the time. I really try to save up my "spoons" for special events or things that I know that are coming up soon and most of the time my "bank" is full of spoons but lately I've been struggling with the energy level to even do my daily routine here at home much less sew and design.
It's been so hard for me to find that balance of how much I can do when my brain feels like I want to do something but your physical body can't keep up. Luckily I have found solace in lots of family time, my buddy Georgie(my boxer) and Jesus. I know those 3 things will never fail me, from Georgie hanging with me when all I can do is chill and binge watch Harry Potter for the 100th time to laughing with my moma and sister to my girls still letting me "Mother" them to me and Larry laughing at silly stuff about what's going on. Right now, those 3 things are the most important and my most valued possessions and get me through the days when the pain, weakness and nausea are at it's worst.
Also, let's talk about the worship warriors that I listen to every single day, man I love contemporary christian music! Somehow whenever I am feeling doubtful, alone or scared, that perfect song comes on and I feel like He sent me that song at that exact time to remind me and that he is right here always.
I listen to this song when I feel the bad guy trying to creep in and cause fear. Fear of the unknown is hard to fight but knowing that Jesus is by my side makes it easier to walk into the unknown. I TRUST in him.
This song, man this song. Does anyone else just LOVE Hillsong? This song never gets old and gives me so much Peace and Strength, it is like it was written just for me. Thank you Hillsong.
It's been a lot to bear the last several months and I would be lying if I said it hasn't got me down at times. Luckily I can throw myself into helping others, a project, baking or eat a bowl of ice cream to get out of my head. So for now, just pray for me and my family.
"Invisible diseases" can sometimes be mentally/physically crippling. Depression could be staring you back in the face when you have your next GNO or family cookout, don't be scared to #speakup and #reachout. If you are reading this and suffer from depression and you need to talk to someone please call the suicide prevention number here. 1-800-273-8255. You should never feel alone.